How to manage grief
Grief is a normal response to various events such as the death of a family member or friend, separation or divorce, loss of one’s home, or a loss of a sense of safety. Grief can also occur if you or someone else has been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
People experience grief in a variety of ways, some common experiences are:
- Anger
- Sadness
- Relief
- Shock
- Denial
- Loneliness
- Sleep disturbances
- Loss of appetite
Grief is an experience that is unique to the individual and is most certainly not linear. People may have difficulty concentrating or participating in everyday activities. Grief can also affect sleep and appetite, which can increase feelings of fatigue and fluctuations in weight.
So what can you do?
Take time
It is important to allow yourself time to grieve. Be patient. Grief does not follow a time-line. It is a very individual process.
Feel your Emotions
Cry. This is perfectly normal. Crying shows us that we are experiencing an intense emotion. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and sit with the discomfort rather than avoiding this experience through drugs or alcohol. Expressing and connecting with our emotions can be a great way to start processing the loss experienced.
Set a Routine
Do something special or set a new routine for something in your day. This could be going for a walk or meditating. Finding time for yourself and for things that you enjoy is important during this time.
Seek Connection
It is important to lean on those around you. Accept help when it is offered to you, be a part of conversations about the person you have lost, or just simply be with others to share feelings.
Be Alone
Whilst connecting with others may be helpful at times, there may also be times where you need time alone, and that is ok. Take some time alone to express your feelings in whatever way feels right for you. You may want to cry or write a personal diary entry.
Create Positive Memories
Collect photos or keepsakes of the loss where appropriate. If it is a loss of a loved one, collect photos of the person you have lost and share stories with others. This allows you to create meaning after you have lost someone and will keep their memory alive.
Practice Self-care
Sometimes it can be difficult to find the energy to exercise or to make a meal, but these are important to maintain your health. If you’re finding it difficult to do these by yourself, ask someone to join you on a walk or to help you make some meals. It is ok to ask for help.
Whilst there are common experiences of grief, grief can be more intense or complex. Some people describe this as not being able to think past the loss or being preoccupied by memories of the person they have lost.
When should you seek help?
You can seek help at any time, however, if your experiences and feelings are getting in the way of participating in everyday life, or is affecting your job or relationships, then seeking help may be the next step.
If this sounds like you or someone close to you, please contact the friendly team at Progressive Psychology on 0477 798 932 to make an appointment with one of our psychologists today.
Lauren Hall is a Provisional Psychologist at Progressive Psychology