From negative to positive - Shining a light on your strengths
As humans we can tend to focus on what is not going well rather than what is going well, and on what we can’t do well rather than what we can do well. We do this with ourselves, we do this with others, and we do this with our children. The negatives seem to “stick” in our minds more than the positives, and interestingly this is evolutionarily programmed to keep us safe – to notice the subtle changes in our world that are dangerous so we can prepare to fight or flight. Evolutionary theory tells us that those that were more attuned to danger and paid attention to the bad things around them, were more likely to survive. However, now it’s often not helpful to fight or run away from ourselves, others, or our children, despite it sometimes being seen as the easier option!
In fact, dwelling on the negatives more than the positives in our lives can lead to depression, anxiety, substance use/abuse, difficulties in relationships and low confidence and self-esteem…and the list goes on. While it takes conscious effort to focus on our own and other’s strengths on a daily basis, it can be an essential ingredient to build skills, maintain positive connections, and improve well-being to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
Labelling a trait as positive or negative can be a double-edged sword. At times, it can be useful to help identify opportunities for skill or personal development. Other times, it can be stigmatizing and defining, and when we focus on all the things that are lacking or not going so well, it can decrease motivation to make change and reduce confidence. By considering positives and negatives, or strengths and weaknesses as existing on a continuum, rather than an either/or approach, the very same weakness can be seen as a strength.
Let’s look at examples of reframing:
Stubborn can become… Persistent and Driven.
Inflexible can become… Determined and Goal-Oriented.
Hyper can become… Energetic and Active.
Too Emotional can become… Perceptive and Expressive of Feelings.
Lazy can become… Focussed and Passionate in areas of Interest.
Withdrawn can become… Introspective and Reflective.
Perfectionistic can become… Conscientious and Detail-oriented.
Anxious can become… Empathic and a Deep-Thinker.
Disorganized can become… Resilient and Thrives in Complex Environments
Viewing traits through this Strengths-Based framework and lens can improve relationships, connections and confidence, whether it is as a parent or partner, employee or business owner, student or individual. Shining a light on strengths can also help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Actively reframing your traits on a regular basis will contribute to improved mood, increased motivation, increased confidence and self-esteem, and lead to a happy more fulfilling lifestyle.
If you would like to learn more about adopting a strengths based approach to life, please call the friendly team at Progressive Psychology today, on 0477 798 932. Our passionate Psychologists look forward to working with you!